HR

Hmm i went to see the HR dude at work re returning to wk. In the end we agree that going back FT is best in my old job. I also used that session as a bit of psychoanalysis on myself & i now realise my stress over returning is mostly cos of my mini-boss's nerves (worrying about whether i can get up to speed fast enough to be a help with the deadlines) & not actually anything to do with the job. All jobs are hard when u got to learn em & learning a different job wouldn't actually be any easier, for me. And its my job & my life innit. So stuff it.

I also on speaking to a colleague have found out what weedy handshake boy's duties were, and to my surprise its nothing like what i thought. In fact he is doing his old job, that he did before they centralised. So in other words its no wonder he looked guilty when he met me, a bit shifty. Its cos he is getting away with blue bloody murder, on a bigger wage, doing exactly what he did before, not pushing himself or being pushed, or learning anything at all.

Far out. It really does boggle me. Here i am killing myself worrying about him being better at my job, when he hasn't been doing it. I was going to ask for the same training wot he got. But there was none. And of course he's doing a great job - at his own old job. Its absolutely bloody shonky.

How can i take any of it serious now? No wonder mini-boss is nervy about me coming back. Its a total joke. It just show you, don't it, that your job is what u make it. Or, what u can get away with. Whole new outlook is dawning on my workmind.